Adventures In… Ingesting Flax Seed

This post comes with a bit of TMI. You have been warned.

My most recent ultrasonic treatment came with a conversation about digestion. I think that Gisell and I are getting to know each other a little better, so ‘oversharing’ kind of comes with the territory. After my haphazard introduction to ultrasonic, my body absolutely refused to shed a thing. Since I’m a pretty ‘regular’ girl, this sent me into a bit of a tizzy… and nearly made me swear off ultrasonic treatments altogether.

Gisell thinks I wasn’t getting enough fiber.

What? Moi? I’m the fiber QUEEN. How could I not be getting enough fiber? She suggested Flax Seed.

M’kay, this ain’t my first time to the colon cleansing rodeo. I know all about flax seed. Or do I? I’ve been taking flax seed oil (in a capsule) on and off for years. Never really noticed any difference. I basically took it to maintain joint health, but certainly not for digestion. Giselle thinks maybe I should give the whole seeds a go, so I take her advice and go exploring.

I end up with these:

This strange vacuum sealed bag costs about 3 bucks at Trader Joes. I get home, pour a bit out onto a paper towel, and get to munching. Tastes like sunflower seeds… not gross… easy peasy. I get on with my day with no real issues…

…for about an hour.

And then… Holy Crap. And I mean CRAP in every sense of the word. What the hell do they put in those things? In between cussing and running for the bathroom every five minutes just in case the gas… WASN’T… I decide to read the back of the package.


Serving size is 2 tablespoons. What the…duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! I’m not even going to get into how much I actually ingested, but it was more than 2 tablespoons. Damn things should come with a warning label!

I probably lost about two pounds that night. But in the morning, I felt FABULOUS. The Flax Seed acted less like a dietary aid and more like Draino… and unclogged, well, everything. The next day, I felt like I could run a marathon. I was full of energy and feeling lighter all over.

So I’m going to keep taking the flax seed in seed form… because it is way more effective than pills, meal, and anything else that I’ve been told to toss into a smoothie or bake into a muffin. But I’m going to take the RECOMMENDED DOSAGE from now on because that was not cute! I’m fairly sure I killed plant life several blocks away from my house. Just terrible.

Please pour out a little protein drink in memory of the plant life that once was.

You can find out more about whole flax seeds HERE.



  1. Steph says:

    I like putting flaxseeds in homemade granola, but sometimes I put too much and eat too much and it isn’t pretty.

  2. jazz1 says:

    Very funny review. Um, I mean it was very informative.

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