The Gratitude Project: Standard Operating Procedure

fearorloveMy latest lesson involves something new: the observation of how we act and react. According to someone with more knowledge than me, we only operate from two places: FEAR and LOVE.

Which do you choose?

That is now the question for me in all things… both personal and professional. Being aware of the motive is the tricky  part. Most of the time I just react. Case in point:

I was contacted for an interview via an introduction from a mutual friend. I figured maybe she wanted to learn a little more about me, and a lot more about Habibi. I’m game. So she sends me the questions (which arrived in my inbox at some ungodly time on a Sunday morning), and from what I can gather… she doesn’t want to know about either.

The questions read like some kind of entrance exam for a college kid looking for a gig at Abercrombie & Fitch. Like, it sounds good on paper but in reality it’s a lazy way to interact with someone you have no real interest in. After 23 years as a journalist, this is ‘style’ (if you want to call it that) of passive interaction is of particular interest to me. ‘Pitch yourself’ and ‘Finish this sentence’… and I’m sitting there like WITEFH…


Either you want to talk to me or you don’t. It’s of no consequence to me either way… but this list of homework assignments you’ve decided to email me isn’t gonna fly.

So I stew about it, then decide to laugh about it, and decide to share my stewing/laughter with the mutual friend. She was not amused. Several scathing texts later, I diffused the situation and moved on. I had decided that I was going to answer the questions the way that I wanted to. Because hey, if you can’t be bothered to actually explore the idea of a viable interview, then I can’t be  bothered to give one.

This is admittedly a craptacular attitude to have.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all… it is what it is. I only liked one question (Rolling Stone or Inc. Magazine?). ROLLING STONE (duh). When she asked for a final thought I said:


It does. I certainly need to take my own advice on this one because I wasn’t very nice. She’ll likely trash the interview. She’d be justified in doing so. Or maybe she’ll get over it and talk to me some more. Or not. Here’s the thing: I don’t know that I operated in fear. But I do know that I didn’t operate in love. Given those choices, I know I should have been better.

I am Grateful For:

The ability to recognize when I should have made a better choice, and the resolve to learn from my mistakes.

I am ever a work in progress…




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