First of all, the ‘y’ key on my board is acting up and staying stuck down every other stroke, because of the one time I spilled Kombucha on it. I’m TRYING to be yogi and live in the present but it insists on bringing up old stuff. SMH. Just won’t let me be great.
Today my skin is raggedy. Probably has a lot to do with hormones (again)… you know you can set a clock to it in my body. And the worst part is, the older I get (42! Where is the time? I swear I was 25 yesterday.) the more unique these issues get. Like WHY do I have dry skin around my mouth and under my eyes today? Whose idea was that? As a person who’s struggled with oily skin my entire life, dry patches anywhere on my face is just foreign and generally stupid. I need to call someone on high. I’m fairly sure some celestial being got the paperwork mixed up and I have a problem that really ought to be assigned to someone better equipped to handle it.
I didn’t even know my skin was dry today until I put on the Burberry Cashmere Foundation (in Camel. Why didn’t ya’ll tell me that Almond was too red and that I looked like an Oompa Loompa? Just rude.) and it literally ‘curdled’ around my mouth! WHY? Ugh. So I did what any self respecting MUA would do in this situation… I covered it with shimmer. Yep! A little bit of Charlotte Tilbury’s Wonderglow, and suddenly the matte look that I was going for turned into a shimmer. So I kept going.
Instead of my sudden go-to Tom Ford Bronze Age, I pulled Natasha Denona back out and contoured with her face and body glows in Dark and Light. Oh she’s having a sale for Mother’s Day. Get into it. Anyway, more Natasha Denona (green/brown palette) on the eyes. No, I’m not doing swatches because I’m lazy and there’s too many of them (but I’ll link this awesome woman who not only knows her shadows… she knows her ingredients ’cause she works on the manufacturing side). Plus… lemme be honest, the shimmer factor on those suckers is so high that they start running together. Instead of fighting it, I went with it and mixed Bottle Green with Umber to get a really cool smutty industrial green color. I think I’m about to make mixing a thing for a while ’cause I really like it. And I honestly can’t be bothered with wearing 15 colors on my eyes as a testament to some kind of Instagram skill set that I truly don’t have the patience for anymore.
Lips are Marc Jacobs Lipstick in Jadore. I’m gonna marry that color. SUCH a good nude and SUCH a good formula! Really comfortable, like a good marriage. I should probably tell my husband…
SKIN FETISH IS COMING! Today, actually. The legend that is Pat McGrath sent out this email to make us feel special with a code that’ll spark a feeding frenzy and probably shut down the damn site. Whatever. I’m here for it. Ya’ll pray I don’t have to wait until Sephora gets off their ass next week to release it to the masses. Gonna get ugly. I’ll let you know if I score a set (or both), and swatch it when it gets here! You already know it’s going to take them 10 years to ship it because that’s always the case with early releases (in truth they are never ready for the frenzy. It’s just a pre-sale money grab). I’ll probably end up getting it from Sephora anyway and get that one before the original. Watch. Same thing happened with UDX Gwen Stefani. SMH
You guys have no idea how hard it was to type this entry with this stupid ass key. I need to call a professional and get this idiocy handled. This is such a stupid #firstworldproblem to have.