The Part-Time Genius of Armani Beaute

Armani Beaute is one of those brands that you never check for, and then you stumble upon something of theirs and go nuts and buy all the things. Then you forget about it again for a couple of years, then stumble upon something else… and so it goes.

If ever there was a brand with no damn plan, I feel like its Armani. Their marketing seems to target only people who already know and are fans of the brand, but they continue to fail upwards with massive displays in major department stores (the Neiman Marcus display is nothing short of epic). Like, if you happen to be in a Sephora where they carry it… yay! But you’ll never catch Sephora hyping the brand in the million and a half emails they send people every day (but you can bet your ass there will be some wackness from whatever sub-par garbage du jour they’re hocking to get you hyped about… nothing). Maybe marketing wasn’t part of their contract.

armani makeup 3

And then some of the foundation formulations are amazing, but it’s like someone was asleep at the wheel when it came to the shade range. With the exception of Luminous Silk foundation (which I happen to hate), the color selection reads like: white, light grey, medium grey, and flat brown. Literally. There are countless moments when I’m looking at their foundation selection like WTF told them this is what color people are? And just so that you’re clear about how much they DON’T give a damn about your skin tone (forget about undertones), the numbers go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, and 11.5. Because phuck your need to match your foundation, that’s why! So the person who is clearly a fan of 50 shades of Grey Foundation, also can’t count.

armani makeup 2

This lie of a picture makes it look like these colors actually have undertones. They don’t. The person who edited this photo should be made to wear these foundations at the same time in public.

Their makeup and skin care (is it really skin care when it does nothing more than sit on your face and look back at you?) range is made up of massive hits and epic misses. Armani Eyes to Kill Silk Eyeshadow is still the best ‘cream’ shadow formulation you will ever find on the market. Same for their mascara. Black Ecstasy is my JAM. I swear by it. Other prestige brands continue to try it, but never quite come close. Their Rouge d’ Armani lip formulations really hug the lips and wear insanely well. But then they come out with sheer lipsticks that aren’t, matte lip creams that curdle and look ashy no matter how deep the shade, and concealers that don’t actually conceal anything. And who asked for that Eye Tint? NO ONE, that’s who.

armani makeup 1

And you know they understand that they’re doing the most because they move product in and out faster than a clearance warehouse. But my issue is, they move out all the wrong things. I got attached to Face Fabric foundation and BAM it was gone. But there sits that Luminous Silk garbage like it’s doing something. I love Maestro Fusion, but the shade range man! Boo.

I don’t get this brand. I am completely in love with some of it, and completely in hate with most of the rest. But I continue to dig through the bargain basement sized bins of offerings, and I squeal in delight when I come up with a gem. I honestly can’t figure out how they stay in business, because the word ‘streamline’ just does not seem to be in their vocabulary.

Forgive this rant. I was in Armani yesterday and flooded with feelings of awe and frustration all at once. And I still ended up with the Maestro Glow Foundation in the shade… medium grey.


I should just walk away.

But you bet I’m here for the new Sepia Collection.





  1. I remember when they first launched, I went to Saks and was disappointed in their foundations. I think I’m between 8 and 9, or was it 9 and 10. Whichever one it was I was shocked how the shades just jumped from med to dark. Where are the inbtwn shades.
    I do love the eye tints though. For personal use and travel.

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